It comes up in perfume discussions from time to time that we wear perfumes, first of all, for ourselves and not to be liked by others. And we get annoyed by co-workers or strangers who are perfume haters. But what if those are people whom we love?
Saturday Question #68:
Would You Wear Perfume That Your Loved One(s) Dislike?
We are not talking about cases when someone dislikes perfumes in general (though, it would be interesting how people handle that type of the situation), but rather when someone close to you dislikes particular perfume that you love. Would you still wear it? If yes, then where/how? Somewhere away from the person who doesn’t like it? Or maybe in tiny doses hoping they’ll get used to it? Or will you give up that perfume altogether?
My Answer
I’ve been lucky so far: my vSO doesn’t object to any of my perfumes (not the least because his allergies prevent him from smelling them half of the time). On rare occasions when he comments that he doesn’t like the scent, it’s one of the samples that I’ve been testing and not liking either.
But had it not be the case… I would have probably given up perfumes that I just like: with the number of perfumes in my collection I can probably be fine without any particular one that is not a great love. But if it were one of my most favorite perfumes, I would have tried it several times under different circumstances to make sure that it wasn’t just a fluke. But if no, I would still hold onto my favorite but probably figure out when to wear it so that it wouldn’t bother my vSO.
Under normal circumstances (meaning, not in a hospital, on a plane or any other similar situations), I don’t think I’m prepared to forfeit my perfume wearing for anybody else. But I do choose [not] to wear particular perfumes for when meeting with some of my friends or colleagues when I know that they like or dislike some of my perfumes or perfume styles.
Undina's Looking Glass 
I don’t think that there’s anything in my collection that my loved ones dislike. However, I am a spillage monster. Brigitte style means 10-32 sprays all over my tiny body depending on the concentration. So the complaint is usually that something is too strong. So for that particular fragrance I know to spray less in the house. I might take the bottle with me and spray outside before I get into the car for work.
Thankfully I have several dear friends I met via blogs. We communicate on a regular basis and exchange perfume. Plus family members. If my husband ever said he hated something I could easily find a loving home for it. Yes, even a beloved perfume. I would do this. Because I love him more ;)
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Spillage???? I DID type in SILLAGE monster….come on , autocorrect, get with the program!!
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Funny! I didn’t even think there was something wrong – spillage then spillage, why not :)
I was fainting from hajusuuri’s 8 sprays, so your application method scares me :) (I know about your skin, but still – for myself I can’t imagine more than 4, maybe 5 sprays.
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My husband has the same allergy issues and he’s had so many surgeries for sinus and sleep apnea issues that he can’t smell much anymore. I don’t think I’ve ever worn anything that he really disliked. I wouldn’t give up a perfume I loved just because someone in the fam didn’t like it, but I do try to be thoughtful when going to family events and wear things that are more subdued so as not to offend anyone. I keep the Shalimar wearing for my alone time at home. Hubby likes it but I’m not going to wear it to lunch and drive people round the bend. LOL
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Ricky, your comment made me laugh because I wear Shalimar all the time to work ( vintage EDC, current formulation perfume and Philtre) and I get lots of compliments. In fact, I had to make decants for a coworker’s wife because he loved it everytime I wore it.
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Oh, many people love Shalimar for sure, but I had co-workers like your mean perfume hating co-worker and one of them was the boss and she decreed no perfume in the office. Arrgghh. I switched to another department not long after that! Now I’m retired so so I spray with abandon. LOL
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Spray away!!!! I should have prefaced it by saying that my skin devours scent ( hence the hefty spraying) and amps up sweet notes so I really don’t get gasoline or leather from Shalimar, even the vintage. It’s fluffy bergamot custard on my skin.
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I agree: I might be a little stubborn if someone dislikes all perfumes, but I try to be mindful not to torture innocent “civilians” :)
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Undina, do you remember my perfume despising coworker from years ago who always told me that I smelled like an old lady or dirty socks? I’m working with her again lol!
But this time I am NOT adjusting my perfume choices to suit her preference (clean and fresh). Because her I do NOT love.
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What?!? I would wear something extra skanky just to annoy her. What a rude comment!
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Oh Tara!! You just made me laugh so hard. I had DSH Pandora and she absolutely abhored it!! Stinky socks came from spikenard essential oil, which can be a bit strong.
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I wouldn’t have taken quietly such comments… But if asked politely, I don’t mind adjusting my perfume selection or intensity.
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How rude that woman was 😳 Like Tara said I’d go out of my way to skank it up further. Does she comment on your perfume nowadays? I’d happily work with you!
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I would not as I know how offensive fragrance can be if it’s unagreeable to someone. However, I did receive a perfume from a friend that I disliked so much but my husband loved it. He started wearing it all of the time and it just made me sick. Finally, I told him he had to stop wearing it and I then passed it one to someone else. Just writing about it I can smell it. Yuck.
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I know at least a couple of perfumes I wouldn’t be able to tolerate, so yes, this is a legitimate case. But even if I never had an occasion to wear something I really love, I would have probably still kept it – at least to smell it from time to time.
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I think I would choose the time and place to wear it, away from the person who doesn’t like it.
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Ditto! :)
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My husband only really disliked one perfume, AG Petite Chérie, and I wasn’t crazy about it either so I gave it away. Never had a negative comment at work. But if my husband hated something I loved I’d just wear it when he wasn’t home.
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It’s amazing! I always thought that Petite Cherie is as inoffensive as they come :)
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My husband has bionic hearing but a terrible nose. He has commented that he likes some of my perfumes but has never said he dislikes anything. I don’t think he can smell them all that well! In my job (preschool music teacher) I am very careful with what I wear as it’s quite active (at least it was, pre-Covid) and perfumes could really bloom. I stuck to fairly subtle scents. Since I haven’t been working it’s fun to wear anything I want, at any “volume”! If my family truly hated something I would avoid – but if it was a top ten I would save for times when no one was home.
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Do you think kids would really mind any of your scents?
I always tried to wear just a tiny amount of perfumes to the office. And I got used to it – so I don’t wear much more even when working from home :)
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Ooooh Undina,
Did I ever tell you about Jin and Slumberhouse?
In the first few years of my perfume craze Slumberhouse were a house I was madly in love with. Those weird, swampy, dark scents blew my mind.
Whenever I wore them though and went to bed, yes all of them, Jin would awake about an hour or so into sleep and be sweating and crying out from terrible nightmares. He is never one to have nightmares so we had to pin down the problem.
Yep, it was something in the Slumberhouse perfumes that was triggering them.
So I quickly moved my collection of their bottles on.
Portia xx
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How interesting! I’ve never heard about such connections. But I can see how it can be. It’s amazing that you found that dependency.
I’m sorry you had to part with perfumes you loved, but I agree that it was a serious reason to do so.
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Which perfume is it that makes Jin go “pooh”😷
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All the time! Harking back to Mr Bonkers, who didn’t care for any perfume, but put up with it all. The best accolade to be hoped for was: “That smells like a craft shop with the window open”.
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I’m not sure I could live with someone who dislikes all perfumes… Though, since I wore perfumes all my life, there were no too many chances that anyone I would date wouldn’t know what he was getting into ;)
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My boyfriend is not keen on scent and often reacts with sneezing and a cough
So I often spray outside of the house before I go to work. He got asthma from Eau de Lancaster, and I consider this a fresh green and unobtrusive scent…
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I would definitely comply with any physical manifestations, it’s different from just not liking something.
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My hubby doesn’t dislike any of my perfumes, thankfully. If he actively disliked any I’d probably go easy on the application if I really wanted to wear it. Nobody has ever had a negative reaction, I usually get compliments. Perhaps people don’t feel that they can comment if their nostrils are twitching? I don’t think I would ever tell someone that I don’t like the way they smell, avoidance would be my thing.
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There are two possibilities: either you wear only very pleasing perfumes in restrained quantities or people around you are very nice and tolerant :)
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Well I’m leaning towards the latter as I’m heavy handed in application, plus have a high personal tolerance to skank 😉
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What a tricky situation, Undina. Fortunately, I also haven’t had to deal with this scenario yet. If they really hated it, I wouldn’t wear it around them. It’s a minor compromise in the scheme of things.
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I agree. Unless, of course, it’s my most-most favorite perfume… but then, it’s my _very_ significant other… Hmm… That would be a tough choice ;) (just kidding)
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