We all try to be considerate when applying perfumes before going to a theater or boarding a plane (well, at least we try). Sometimes, we find ourselves in the company of a scentophobe or in a fragrance-free work environment. Today’s question is not about those situations.
Saturday Question #228:
Do You Think of Others When Choosing Which Perfume to Wear?
If there are no limitations, you do not expect any objections, and you can choose any perfume from your collection, do you think of people you’ll be meeting in terms of whether they would like what you plan to wear? Or do you go with what you feel like wearing regardless of the potential “audience”?
My Answer
For many-many years, the main driver of my choices was how I felt about the perfume, how it fit the event, my outfit and my mood. I would consider the specific preferences of particular people (as in “what not to wear”), but other than that, I was at the center of all considerations.
In recent years, I started catching myself trying to figure out which of the perfumes I could wear might please people I was going to spend time with. I consider many of my perfumes great. But I would be trying to choose the one that I thought others might consider pleasant, beautiful or at least nice. It’s not that I want people to like me (they already do – we’re friends), but rather I want them to like my perfume. At least partially, I think, it’s because I know that they know about my hobby, so, in some sense, I don’t want to disappoint them or miss an opportunity to impress them with some rare beauty.
How about you?
Undina's Looking Glass 
What an interesting question Undina.
On the rare occasion DH & I go on a “date”, I’ll try to choose something he bought me or I know he likes.
For very special occasions I like to curate maybe 3 or 4 scents & then choose on the day or night.
They are probably the only times I consider others in my fragrant choices.
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I do the same, alityke. If DH has been lovely enough to buy me another fragrance, I want him to enjoy it! Luckily, he has very good taste in fragrances and he hasn’t erred yet in his choices.
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My “special occasion” perfumes are also a preset, so choices there are done solely based on how I feel about it.
My vSO doesn’t dare to buy any perfumes for me. But he doesn’t dislike (or even like) any of mine in particular. So, I’m quite free in my choice.
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Other than wearing a fragrance that was a gift, to please the giver, I don’t really think about picking a scent for the “audience.” I’m much more likely to choose one for the occasion or the season. But if someone close to me has complimented a particular fragrance, and if I remember that, I would certainly choose that one over others if I’m going to be with that person.
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I also remember if someone complimented me on a particular scent and try to wear either the same one or something similar.
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Coincedentally I visited a friend yesterday, and I applied a fragrance that I thought she would enjoy. I enjoy it too, otherwise I wouldn’t wear it, but I had her pleasure in mind. It worked, she was thinking about buying perfume for herself, which she never does, and she loved what I was wearing. I gave it to her to try for a few weeks before she buys it. I also sometimes wear perfume my husband enjoys. He always comments on my smelling good when I do that!
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Yay! Let’s hope your friend will like that perfume (but even figuring out that it doesn’t fit would be a good thing, especially with the current prices).
For a long while I tried to figure out perfumes my vSO preferred on me but he either can’t smell them or doesn’t mind :)
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Heya Undina,
I’m torn here because I’m pretty sure this comes into my thought process but not quite so blatantly. Sometimes I’ll pick a fragrance and then realize that I’m hanging with the person who gave it to me, or who liked it.
I find my choices much more about others when I’m picking something to wear at home but knowing I’ll be putting it up on a SOTD thread on FaceBook. I know it’s dumb but when having the complete run of the collection I often think, “Wear something you’ve not worn in a while to mix up the SOTD posts.” I like it because it makes me rummage and search, F U N!
Portia x
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I think about that, too.
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We are funny creatures, perfumistas. I love that we do this stuff RR. It keeps the excitement alive.
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I understand how it works because sometimes I postpone some of the SQ posts because my answer would be the same perfume I recently used in another post :)
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Yeah, you get it. I think we all do it to some extent Undina.
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I know you said this doesn’t count, but my long airplane trips to Australia and other places is generally when I think of others. FYI, my scent of choice then is L’Occitane Verveine, which is light, inoffensive, but oh so refreshing 12 hours into a flight! Other than that, I always please myself, because I (with some conceit) conclude that I know more about perfumes than anyone around me! The only time I can think of as an exception is I do try to wear Puredistance Warszawa (one of my top ten perfumes) around my daughter who kindly gifted it to me because it’s beautiful, and she recognizes it now.
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I’m sure that I know more about perfumes than most of my friends and co-workers (maybe even counted together ;)) – and still I want them to like my perfume :)
Air travel is a special place to be especially considering about others: it sucks to be stuck with someone’s scent you can’t stand! I wouldn’t want to be “that person” :)
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My hairstylist enjoys perfume, but only certain genres. (She has a copy of Perfume: The Guide in her waiting area!). I try to wear something I know she will like when I go, since we are in close proximity for an hour or so, and we can discuss the scent. Other than that, I usually just wear what I want!
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What does she like? Do you have any favorites in common?
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she doesn’t like anything overly floral or “feminine”. She doesn’t wear much herself – being so close to so many people all day – but I usually wear something woody, spicy, ambery and we both enjoy. I don’t think I wore anything last time I went though- I misread my calendar and ended up racing out the door to get there on time.
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I generally don’t take into consideration what perfume I’m going to be wearing, unless I know specifically there will be someone in confined quarters that is sensitive. Recently, I had some friends over, and one of them is sensitive to fragrances of any kind. I chose to wear something very soft, and the amount I applied was with great precision. It worked out just fine.
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I understand that approach, especially when exposing someone to our favorites without them having an option of putting some distance between us if they dislike them. But I was trying to focus on the opposite intent: to be noticed in a positive way.
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When I make my choice of perfumes to wear, I certainly consider the time of day, the occasion, and who I will be with. That’s important, and usually the biggest mistake some people can make when deciding on a perfume. I guess what I meant by my initial reply was, I pick what I feel I want to wear, and take into consideration the other points. I’ve never had anyone tell me that what I’ve chosen was awful. I guess that’s a good problem to have. For closer friends that are fully aware of my obsession, I might choose something newer, so they aren’t bored, but pleasantly surprised. For this reason, there are many of my friends that have their favorites. Some of them have even asked for samples, because they love the perfume so much.
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I try to wear softer fragrances when I’m in a group of people I don’t know well, or I’m invited to a dinner. I don’t want my perfume to clash with the food or the wine. I do definitely wear fragrances that I know friends like when I am with them. I have a friend who loves peonies and peony fragrances, so I always were peony fragrances when I’m with her. I do the same with other friends who like particular notes or fragrances.
My DIL loves fragrance so I always try to pick some things I think she will like for wearing and sharing with her. My husband loves tuberose so I pick a tuberose scent for date nights with him. The rest of the time I please myself :-))
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If meeting friends, I probably will choose a fragrance that’s not polarizing or too loud, but otherwise it’s not really that thought out.
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I went to the dentist, the optician, and an allergy clinic (twice!) last week, and made sure I was not wearing anything too “in your face”, as I was in all their faces!
Sometimes I do consider other people in terms of wanting to please or intrigue them, but I can honestly say it almost never works as it is so incredibly rare that anyone ever notices what I am wearing. ;) Maybe I am too light a sprayer.
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