Portia’s Theory of Fragrant Relativity

Hi there, ULG Perfume Buddies. I have a theory. Well, I’ve called it a theory, but that’s because I suffer delusions of grandeur. It’s just a thing that’s been rattling around in my brain for a while. It didn’t really have much fom till I mentioned it to some mates, and they all piled on with thoughts and japes. It was kind of out-of control. What came out of it was a crystallising of my thoughts, and then I thought it might be fun to discuss it with you all.

In 20-40 years time, the perfumistas will be reminiscing about their love for perfumes from Juicy Couture, Jessica Simpson, Agent Provocateur, Lady Gaga and Benefit.

They will dream of fruitchoulis, calone and rose/oud combos like we do about oak moss and musks.

The prices of these scents will skyrocket on the future equivalent of eBay, and we will finally get our long lost fougere, chypre and galbanum rich beauties for next to nothing.

Now, I also have a confession.

When I heard that Agent Provocateur had gone bust, I went straight to FragranceNet and bought two 100ml of three from their range. Maitress, Lace Noir and Blue Silk. Then I went searching high and low for their original Agent Provocateur EdP, found two bottles of that for quite good prices and am awaiting their arrival. Finally, I saw Fatale Intense in my local chemist and snaffled that too.

NOW I have to find somewhere to put the damn things…

Also, have you noticed Jessica Simpson frags getting harder to find? I might have panic bought some of them too.



The only bottles already in my collection were original Agent Provocateur EdP and Jessica Simpson Fancy Nights (not pictured). They have been long standing regular use perfumes in collection, and I’ll be sad to not have them. So, buying them makes sense, right? Backing up your disappearing beauties is a perfumistas stock in trade. Everything else, though, is a freaked out blind buy. There is no rhyme or reason to this. Suddenly the urge was upon me, the hunt was on, my cart full, checked out and sent. It’s like all my impulse control goes flying out the window.

Do you ever panic buy stuff just because it’s going, going, gone? What do you think of my Theory of Fragrant Relativity? What will you want to hoard?

Portia xx


Image: my own


35 thoughts on “Portia’s Theory of Fragrant Relativity

  1. I definitely did my share of panic buys. The one that I can remember now: Ginger Ciao by Yosh. I thought that the brand was going out of business and bought a back-up bottle. Oh, and I bought a back-up bottle of the discontinued Jo Malone French Lime Blossom.

    As to your theory… I wrote a story about it six year ago. You (and most of my friends and current readers) read it back then, but I’ll live a link to it just in case anybody who’s new to my blog is curious.


    • Hey there Undina,
      Damnit! You must have triggered the theory for me. It’s been rattling around in my head for ages. When I brought it up recently it was hilarious with my buddies. Even though some of the scents we were laughing about are good, and we might love the brands or celebs, it still seems funny that people will be desperately seeking a bottle of Nikki Minaj, Justin Bieber or Taylor Swift. Or maybe that some long lost cal; one laden freshie might see a sudden resurgence because a popular reviewer or influencer recalls it with love.

      There wasn’t link in your comment but if you remember I’d love an easy gateway to reread it.
      Portia xx


  2. I can see those being a thing, except Benefit? I know recently I went looking for the Chloe one…is it Love Story?…that was discontinued and it is nowhere. Who knew? It’s hard to predict. I did recently score on EBay a Ralph Lauren Tuxedo, which I’ve wanted forever. It is tantalizingly in the States and i am in Australia. Delayed gratification. But my daughter who received the package said it smells good!


    • Hey Cynthia3403,
      HA! I add Benefit because they did a spectacular amber called Noelle that I fell madly in love with and they DCd it. Fortunately I was privy to its disappearance and grabbed a backup.
      Chloe has done some wonderful fragrances. I think there will be a few of them that skyrocket.
      OOOH! I don’t know Tuxedo by Ralph Lauren, is it current? Funny that YSL has one too.
      Portia xx


  3. Your theory makes sense to me! :-)
    I would say Fancy Nights is already one that perfumistas try to hunt down. It’s *very* hard to find now.
    One of the APs you didn’t mention was L’Agent. Do you have that one yet?


  4. I reckon Fancy Nights is already a frag that has perfumistas a-hunting: it’s much-loved by many and very HTF now. I must say, those bottles in the JS Fancy range are surprisingly lovely (I am convinced their shape is based on an ancient milk-glass Guerlain flacon).

    An AP you didn’t mention is L’Agent. Do you have that one?


  5. Hmm, no idea about what will become coveted in the future, but I certainly have done my share of panic buying: F. Malle when it was bought by E. Lauder, Lutens when it went to Shiseido, Vero Kern when she passed away, Apoteker Tepe when they closed up, plus misc. discontinued scents. I now officially have enough perfume for three lifetimes.


  6. I admit to buying a bottle of Bvlgari Black when I heard it was being discontinued, but since then I have reoriented my concept of my perfume collection and no longer impulse, panic or blind buy. Committing to a year-long no-buy has helped me maintain that (although my SIL just gave me Paris-Riviera for my birthday after I sent her the link with a hint… is that cheating?) I also admit to never having sniffed Fancy Nights – how is that possible!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Nope. Never panic-bought a fragrance and have no plans to start. The only thing I would panic-buy if it was discontinued would be the TIGI Bedhead Wax Stick. I Googled Jessica Simpson because apart from hearing the name I really have no clue who she is. Thirty seconds of Irresistable? I don’t think so. 😎


  8. I’m not a panic buyer. I only bought one spare bottle of Cuir de Lancome when I found out it is was discontinued.
    I really can’t see most celeb perfumes becoming sought after in the future. The old school fragrances we lust after were such high quality. But who knows? I hope you get a good return on your AP investment one day.


    • Hey Tara,
      It’s weird the things that have become collectable. Look at all those cheap Avon bottles that now go for far more than they ever cost on eBay. A bottle of original Cher goes for SO MUCH now, as does Byzance and Trouble. Fingers crossed eh?
      That black juice of Lady Gaga is climbing the price mountain so fast too.
      Portia xx


  9. Fancy Nights getting hard to find? What? The perfume world is going crazy! Now I’m tempted to buy up some Jessica Simpsons… But I’m on a quest to save for some more expensive fragrances so I’ll let it slide.
    The only fragrance I’ve ever ‘panic bought’ is Alexander McQueen’s “My Queen.” I totally adore that fragrance, it’s so comforting and lovely for me. So when I first discovered it, and also discovered it was already long discontinued, I bought 4 extra bottles. I finally sold one last year, but I still have 3 small backup bottles. My husband says he’s going to put them in my casket. LOL

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I panic-bought a couple of backups of Penhaligon’s Ostara when it was discontinued. So ironic, because the discontinuation is how I discovered it! I got a link to a Penhaligon’s sale, and there it was for a very low price. It sounded as if I’d like it, I love daffodils, and the packaging was so pretty, so I took the plunge. Of course, when it arrived, I feel deeply in love, and then it became clear that it was going to go away forever. So I bought a couple of testers, since I already had the gorgeous box.


      • Strip is a honey kind of frag, very nice. I sold that and the original AP recently on AFN because I just never ever wore them. I’d recommend hunting down Strip though. Nice bottle too. I tried to like AP but there was something in it that always bothered me :( I know a lot of people who LOVED it, deeply deeply loved it when it came out.


  11. As to backups.. I am trying to stop that habit, especially as they often don’t get worn. It was a huge weakness of mine in the past but with some things by the time I was near finishing the first bottle I’d moved on. I have a backup of Dzongkha because it’s my favourite. I do find the way we go from everywhere flooded with a discount scent to it not existing rather upsetting!


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