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Saturday Question #186:
Do You Compliment Others On Their Perfume?
Do you tell your friends, relatives or loved ones that you like how they smell? How about co-workers, neighbors and other acquaintances? Do you ever compliment strangers?
My Answer
A short answer would be: Yes.
Not too many of the people I know personally wear perfumes. But whenever they do, I always notice and tell them if I like what I smell (and then sometimes the game “Can you tell what I’m wearing?” ensues).
In the office environment (while we still were coming daily to the same place to work), it was extremely rare to smell anything from co-workers or other people in the same office building. So, whenever I smelled anything, my knee-jerk reaction was to say something nice – just to acknowledge my appreciation of the fact that somebody was applying perfume. I think people react similarly to seeing a bright-colored blouse or statement jewelry piece: they compliment it not necessarily because they like it (and not even to be nice), but because they noticed it, and it was an easy thing to do… And then one day I stopped myself because I realized that I might be encouraging a person to keep wearing perfume I didn’t like. But unlike somebody else’s blouse that might not please you aesthetically but doesn’t really affect you, a scent that you do not like might be quite bothering… From that time, I would compliment someone only if I liked what I smelled and not the idea that I could smell something instead of the usual scentless sterility.
Whenever I smell something that I like on a complete stranger, if the situation permits, I do express my delight. And usually people like it. Annoyingly, on a couple of occasions recently I couldn’t figure out who to compliment: I looked around and even followed a couple of people in a store but didn’t find a person leaving that great sillage. Of course, I was annoyed not because I missed a conversation with a stranger, but because I really wanted to know what they were wearing.
How about you?
Undina's Looking Glass 
I frequently compliment people on the fragrance they’re wearing, dear Undina. Ha! Ha! Had a good chuckle about your point regarding encouraging a person to keep wearing perfume we don’t like. We’ve probably all done that at some stage.
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That was one of those “a-ha!” moments when I realized that unless I keep quiet I might be signing up for a more frequent encounter with that soapy rose scent that I don’t really enjoy smelling either from myself or others.
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YES! Regularly.
Jin always takes a step back because he’s sure one day someone will be offended by my random compliments for fragrance, clothes, fabric, hair, handbag, shoes, etc etc etc
It’s instinctive to say how much I like something.
Nowadays I preface most compliments in the wild with, “I know you don’t care what I think but…”
It generally puts people at ease and hopefully makes them feel like they do not have to respond.
When it’s perfume though, sometimes I really want to know what they’re wearing. Often I’ll ask and get Britney, SJP or Rihanna and I’ll be expecting to hear some high end niche. Maybe their village is more pronounced, maybe they just smell fantastic?
Portia xx
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I also compliment strangers on some elements of their wardrobe. I try to do it in passing, without putting them on the spot.
I used to ask people about perfume they were wearing, but after the pandemic I rarely get close enough to people to figure out who is the wearer of the scent i caught and liked.
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Yes yes! It is such a fun way to make a new connection, whether with a stranger or colleague or friend or family. It can also be a surprising way to find a new scent to try!
Once in a grocery store, I smelled the most intoxicating sillage, and at the last moment found myself in line next to the wearer. When I got up the courage to compliment her, the cashier chimed in also, and we were all treated to spritzes from the bottle she carried on her – Juicy Couture! It was a scent I would have snobbily not have considered trying otherwise, and it reminded me that snobbery has no place in my fragrance experience!
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As I defined it to myself a while ago, with thousands perfumes produced every year, we need some more or less formal set of rules for what we’re testing/trying to get to test and what we should skip. Snobbery isn’t a worse “filter” one can use. Of course, not to the extent of refusing to consider some perfume solely because it is not [insert any criterion] and despite recommendations from others or personal impressions from an accident encounter.
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I do compliment people, although I rarely detect perfume among the people I encounter. My favorite story is the child care lady at church who was wearing Angel – it smelled fantastic on her (and smells absolutely abhorrent on me!) The only time I have been bothered by someone else’s scent was at a symphony concert, someone in the row ahead of us was doused in something very strong, old school but not really in a good way. I expect it was the woman’s “signature” perfume and she could no longer smell it as well as she used to, therefore the heavy hand.
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I think that one of the benefits of having a vast collection of perfumes and wearing them interchangeably is that we do not “desensitize” our noses to one of them. And we know how much we normally apply. Still, I try to follow my personal rule and wear a bare minimum when going places where others will not have an easy “escape” from me.
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I rarely have the opportunity, but when I do, yes I compliment.
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In the last several years we all get less opportunities even to communicate with others. Working from home, most of my outside interactions are with fellow grocery shoppers, sometimes friends over a weekend and, luckily rare, doctors visits.
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I do compliment others, even complete strangers, when they’re wearing a scent that my nose enjoys. If it’s a scent that I really like, I’ll ask what they’re wearing in the event I want to make the effort to track it down at a later date, either a sample to take home or a tester to try in store.
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I’m usually amazed by people’s answers because I know those perfumes, and they smell completely different on me! ;)
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I definitely tell people if I like how their perfume smells, although I must admit, I rarely smell perfume on people I’m around. Not like the 80s! I was on a flight home from Australia last March, and I complimented the perfume of the older lady sitting next to me. It turns out it was Estee Lauder Beautiful, an old favorite. This led to much talking and sharing until we got from Adelaide to Sydney. She was quite the character, and I enjoyed passing the flight in conversation. (I wouldn’t have been so happy had this been on the 20 hour flight home!) I generally find people respond well to compliments. Sadly, I rarely get complimented on fragrance I’m wearing. Maybe I need to spray more!
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20 hours! Wow. I am horrified just thinking about it!
I do underspray on most occasions (unless it’s a party), so I rarely get compliments other from close friends.
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I always tell people I like their fragrance. This area has the famous no scents is good sense idea, and I loathe it. Reek of cigarettes or harsh laundry soap and you’re fine-drop on Chanel and you belong in jail. It’s idiotic. I remember one customer was wearing a Crabtree and Evelyn fragrance and it was nice. Another customer wears Angel and it really suits her.
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A couple of days ago, I saw an advertisement for a laundry scent enhancer that allows your clothes to keep that laundry detergent scent that many people grew to associate with freshly laundered clothes for days! I’m known to sometimes re-washing pillow cases at rented apartments if they smell of detergent – or I won’t be able to sleep. So, the idea to prolong it seems bizarre to me.
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Yes! Especially if it’s something I like. With coworkers, I’ll even go up to a group of them to ask who’s wearing it and what it is (although surprisingly that hasn’t been successful as everyone thinks it’s not them). With strangers, it depends – I’ll try to gauge whether they seem friendly or not first. I think people get a bit more self conscious about how they smell versus how they look, or maybe I’m just projecting.
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My blog played a trick on me: I remember typing an answer to your comment, and I was sure I posted it, but I can’t find it now. I hoped it went into unapproved comments (as it happened to a couple of people on this post – I have no idea why), but no. Now I’ll try again.
It is understandable that people are more conscious about the smell comments because while it is not customary these days to comment negatively on other people’s look/choice of clothes, criticism of people wearing perfumes is something quite mundane. So, it’s not always clear in what direction the conversation about the personal scent will lead.
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That’s interesting; I hadn’t thought of it from the angle of how common it is to criticize perfume. I was thinking that scent is more likely to bother someone as it’s hard not to keep breathing it in while near it, whereas if you don’t like the look of someone, at least it’s not internalized.
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Yes. If some smells good & I can trace who the sillage belongs to I have been know to follow & stop them to compliment them. A sincere compliment is a beautiful thing to give or receive.
Imagine if someone is having a bad day & a stranger compliments them on their scent, the scent they almost didn’t apply. A shot of sunshine into someone’s day
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I agree! I enjoy complimenting people on something great I smell (or see, if it’s a piece of clothes).
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Definitely if it is someone I know, and sometimes if it isn’t, depending on how bold I feel!
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I feel like starting at certain age, saying what you think (especially if it is a compliment) is accepted easier than when it comes from a younger person.
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I always ask, even if I don’t care for the scent, out of curiosity–and to encourage people to wear perfume!
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Yes!
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I compliment people all the time (when I like what I’m smelling, that is). Just last night at work someone was wearing Aromatics Elixir so they just had to be complimented. It doesn’t matter if I know them or not, and sometimes it develops into a nice chat. It may even make someone’s day, like a member of cabin crew who was having a tough day. She was visibly affected by my comment that she smelled lovely, and thanked me very sincerely. She was wearing Versace Woman.
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I agree that saying something nice, especially to people in a service industry who mostly get complaints, is the right thing to do.
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Definitely! But only if I like it. :-))
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Yes! Because I always think of how wonderful I feel when someone compliments me on my fragrance, so I try to overcome my customary introverted-ness. My funniest experience of being complimented myself was in the airport security screening line in Dublin: https://scentsandsensibilities.co/2018/08/24/fragrance-friday-hair-spray/. Once I realized I wasn’t going to be diverted and frisked for contraband, I was delighted with the compliment!
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I remember this story!
I still haven’t found a hair mist I would like to have in addition or instead of perfume I like, but I keep trying them whenever I see them.
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I’ve been tempted in the past by Chanel No. 5 hair mist, but haven’t acquired it! And it may have been a limited release.
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I would but the ‘woke world’ has scared me into hiding! ;)
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