We all participate in different forums, blogs, groups, etc. And discussing our SOTDs is something mundane. But how do you feel about telling somebody in real life what perfume you’re wearing?
Saturday Question #93:
Do You Mind Revealing What You Are Wearing?
I remember years ago reading on some of the blogs that people were reluctant to share with others (outside of the online perfume community) what perfume they were wearing. The reasons were different – from plainly not knowing how to pronounce the name to being afraid of being judged for buying too expensive perfume or even because they didn’t want others to have the same perfume they did.
So, how do you feel about that? If your friend or a co-worker were to ask what perfume you are wearing, would you tell them? How about a stranger (in a non-creepy situation)?
My Answer
In general, I’m an “oversharer” when it comes to things that I like, find useful or consider a great deal. So, if anyone were to ask (and I think it had happened more than once), I would not only tell them what perfume it was but make sure to include some information about the brand (unless it’s a well-known one), where it can be tried or bought and whatever other information I think might entice the victim of that cornucopia of information to pursue “my” perfume.
But there is one perfume that I would not “advertise” had I been asked by somebody who is (and will be) in my circle: Ormonde Jayne Ta’if. I love it so much that I feel very possessive and wouldn’t want anyone else to come to the party in a cloud of “my” scent.
If any of you is curious why I do not feel the same about my all-time favorite Lancome Climat, it’s easy: since it is discontinued, I don’t expect anyone who isn’t familiar with it to bother finding it. So, even if asked, I could freely give out the name, immediately providing the extra detail that it has been discontinued – just to be helpful, you know).
How about you?
Undina's Looking Glass 
Not only do I not mind revealing I have also been known to make decants or gift the bottle if someone really loves it
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I hope you have around you mostly people who subscribe to the same moral motto of sharing and selflessness.
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Hahaha, mostly yes. But quite often I tell folks to pay it forward in other ways. Random acts of kindness.
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Like you, and Brigitte, im more of an oversharer. However, I might have had perfumes earlier on, where I felt a bit protective, and wanted to keep them for myself, if we are talking ‘outsiders’, sharing with perfume community people have always been fun. Today I truly don’t mind. I think most of my perfumes are either DC’ed or reformulated, and nearly all would not be available in Denmark anyway.
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It’s a two-edged sword: on one side, you have a minimal risk of someone’s “appropriating” your favorite perfumes; on the other side, it should be quite difficult for you to discover new perfumes. Especially now with limited traveling.
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I usually thank the person with a smile. If it’s a friend who knows of my fragrant hobby I’ll gladly share the info. A stranger? Just a thank you. A friend who doesn’t know of my hobby, just a thank you unless they specifically ask for details.
I’m not being secretive, just don’t want to bore people who have no interest in fragrance
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How do you know they have no interest in fragrance?
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With my friends I know if they’re interested or not of course. One close friend has no sense of smell yet wears scent, usually discreet, bought as gifts from her mum or hubby. One is interested as I discovered when she recognised Ambre Sultan & always asked what I was wearing.
Strangers commenting is difficult to read. I’m not an oversprayer so someone I don’t know would have to get within my personal space to catch my sillage.
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I hope I didn’t paint the picture of me showering with all the information unsuspected strangers (or friends) who just politely complimented me on my perfume. On the other hand, I feel that “Thank you” might sound kind of rude as an answer to “What perfume are you wearing?” ;)
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Didn’t think that you were bombarding everyone. I misunderstood your original post as I thought you meant someone complimenting as in “you smell good” rather than “what perfume are you wearing?”
Of course, a direct question deserves an answer. A stranger asking? It would depend on how they asked. “You smell good, please can I ask what it is? I’d like to get some for my mum/daughter/OH” Would get a positive response, probably including where to get it.
A friend, as above
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Yeah… “What is this perfume you’re wearing? My grandmother would love it!” :)))
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🤣🤪🤣🤪🤣🤪
Reply would be. “Your Grandmother has great taste” then I might tell a wee porky pie & tell them it’s an Ensor Oud Attar at £100 per ml.
In truth it would more likely be Tabu 😁
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You are such a kind soul… ;)
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I don’t mind, but I am not often asked.
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You should spray twice as much as you do now – and you’ll see, they will start asking! ;)
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Yes, I think 5 sprays of Aromatics Elixir will be a good starting point
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LOL (literally)!
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I’m rarely asked – I sometimes get a “you smell good” but most people I know don’t seem overly interested in perfume and never ask what it is. My sister in law will sometimes ask but she’s a dedicated “signature scent” person (she just last year asked for a bottle for Christmas as her third scent option.) And while I have favorites, I have so much perfume that I don’t feel possessive about any of it. But I certainly understand the impulse!
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Your sister in law is a perfect candidate for being converted into a perfume lover! :) Out of curiosity: what are her three perfumes?
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For years – warm weather was DKNY be Delicious. Gifted her a set I found at Marshall’s a few years ago. Cold weather – Burberry Brit (she got my bottle- I couldn’t bring myself to wear it since it was “hers”.). Last year she asked for Coco Mademoiselle for Christmas. She already needs a new bottle. Maybe in a few years I’ll get her to try a fourth!
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The easiest way to slightly nudge her towards embracing perfume variety would be to get her to try different flankers of her favorite perfumes explaining that those are almost identical but with a twist. So, it’s not like she would be wearing a totally new and unfamiliar perfume… ;)
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If I’m asked I’ll tell. A few times this has led to a purchase, but if it’s discontinued I’ll offer a sample if they would like to try it. There are some perfumes that have quirky names, and this has provided a good laugh on occasion.
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Pour Un Gimme, anyone :) ?
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Or, do you fancy a bit of Lust😉
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Or Secretions Magnifique?? One day I will own a bottle because it smells great on me and it will be fun if someone asks what I am wearing.
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Yes. You need that. It wears well on you. I just remembered a time when I was asked by two ladies at work what I was wearing. It was Pleasures Intense. Cue the grinning all round, and a chorus of oooerrr🤣
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Hahaha!! Good one, love
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Who would have thought that Estée Lauder can release something with such a risqué name! :)
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It’ll never be called anything else in my head😆
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Hahaha!! Same for me!!
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Haha – yes Pour un GImme – remmber that one well :D
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Lol
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Is someone asks, I will tell, but if it’s not a mainstream perfume then I kind of get the blank look and it ends there.
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True. Partially, that is the reason I provide additional information – not to get that blank gaze.
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Hey Undina,
Yeah, I’ll tell them. If I can remember or if the name is easy to say.
Sometimes I go look at a SOTD thread on FB for a reminder. It’s also easier if they can see a pic and read the name, if they’re really interested and not just giving a compliment.
Portia xx
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You just gave me the idea! :) Poor people who will ask me know: I’ll find a Fragrantica page for that perfume and share :)
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Yes, I’ll tell someone which perfume I’m wearing.
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What are you wearing? :)
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@ Undina
I tried to reply to your question What am I wearing….My reply did not ” Send”
I’m not wearing anything at the moment, not dressed yet !!!
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I wonder whether WordPress decided that this particular conversation line was too frivolous? :)
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I am rarely asked (should I spray more??) but when asked, I’m flattered and happy to share. And you are the one who got me interested in T’aif, so thank you!
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I’m so happy that you liked it!
Not only I love sharing my love with friends online, but I also think that it increases chances of “my” perfume to be commercially successful and not be discontinued :)
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Totally depends on the context-I usually don’t mind sharing, as long as I can pronounce it :) And I will tell someone, as long as they won’t judge me. So around here if you wear Chanel you might be considered uppity. So if I think someone is just looking for an excuse to call me uppity, I’ll say it’s just soap :)
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Judginess is so unattractive isn’t it? Tends to go along with chippiness.
But like kids calling clever kids “snobs”.
Well I was a school snob & I’m proud my brain took me away & gave me a career that meant I could retire early & still buy Chanel for myself.
You enjoy your scented gorgeousness! You’ve earned it!
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Thank you for the change in perspective-I really appreciate it. I wasn’t very clever in school but I have tenacity. Tenacity can be useful lol.
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Well you can be as uppity as you like round here. No judgements.
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Or non uppity too because I don’t snub my nose at the cheapies either! My current love is Fresh White Musk…cheap as chips but gets me a ton of compliments and I don’t get embarrassed when someone asks what it is
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Brigette, a good fragrance is a good fragrance, right? I always remember seeing Sophia Loren’s perfumes in drugstores, when I was growing up. I like drugstore finds, too.
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Yes indeed, Carole!! Me too on loving drugstore finds!
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Thank you, Cassieflower :) One person once explained things to me : we live on an island. If you have something and I don’t it’s cause you took it from someone. The theory makes sense, even tho there is a causeway connecting to the mainland. It says more about the person making the accusation, rather than the person receiving it.
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Exactly. Over here we call it begrudgery, and it’s rampant.
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The person who asks to pass a judgement isn’t worth sharing a name with! Just tell them something like: “Oh, I don’t remember. It’s an old bottle my husband/boyfriend/etc. bought for me as a souvenir from his business trip (if applicable)/vacation” (and let them get green with envy that you have such an attentive partner ;) ).
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I’m almost never asked, but if I am, I’ll probably tell them about it and the main notes if I know what they are and they’re not obscure. Then I would ask if the person is into fragrance as well, but so far not much luck there.
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Keep trying! Sooner or later… :)
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I don’t mind saying, but I get cagey if it’s some super expensive obscure thing so I don’t come across as uppity or crazy. It did once ruin a scent I loved, L by Lolita Lempicka. My hairdresser started wearing it after I told her what I was wearing and it smelled so nauseating on her I could never wear it again.
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Oh dear, that’s very unfortunate!
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Oof. That is a totally unhappy outcome, Tara.
I once had a co-worker who’d buy the same shoes/handbags and perfumes after asking me. I stopped telling her because it started to look like I was copying her.
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That IS unfortunate!
Next time when you smell something you don’t like, don’t ask what it is – just in case it’s again somebody’s body chemistry butchers one of your favorites.
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I actually don’t like sharing IN the perfume community. This hobby has gotten so expensive because of supply and demand. I wear things under the radar that you still can get for cheap sometimes. You tell and people go scrambling to buy it up. Then it gets popular. I like being unpopular! LOL
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But aren’t you afraid that if something that you like isn’t popular, it has a good (well, bad) chance to be discontinued? And then it’ll be even more expensive.
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I’m an oversharer and if it is a person whom I know I will see again, I will offer a sample or a decant unless I don’t have enough to share. No one had asked yet about Chanel No.19 EDP but that is the one that should be in every household, just like a chicken in every pot, setting aside any political implications and perhaps allowing vegan chicken as well to be more accommodating.
I also don’t mind asking others and can usually tell if someone is being vague. I once asked someone at work (whom I only see at most once a week) what perfume she was wearing and she said she doesn’t remember the name but it is “Kilian”. To say she was shocked that I know the name is an understatement. I did not want to guess but I think it was Love, don’t be shy, not the Extreme version.
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That’s funny about the Killian. It’s become practically a mainstream brand now that Killian started selling at Sephora. I’m pretty sure his perfumes are sold at Bloomies and Nordstrom, too, definitely at Neiman’s and Bergdorf. But people who are not dedicated perfume lovers would likely think a Killian scent is something exotic and secret that they want to keep to themselves. LOL
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This is so true. The Kilians aren’t in all the Sephora’s but who hasn’t perused the website!?!
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I just surprised a co-worker (remote, from another continent) by recognizing the brand name based on the approximate and slightly butchered description (it was Serge Lutens ;) ).
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When I was working, I got questions often about what scent I was wearing. I had some lovely perfume loving friends at work and they would often ask what I was wearing. I would always tell them and would offer samples, too. My friend Carlos loved my Heeley Iris de Nuit so I gave him a decant and his mother adored it. He wanted to buy her a bottle so then I had to reveal the price and where to buy it. Thankfully, Heeley isn’t too expensive for a niche, so he didn’t faint or anything. He bought his mum a bottle and it made her so happy. Another friend would swoon whenever I wore Tresor Lumineuse. He loved that fragrance. I often collected perfume and makeup samples and decants to send to his nieces in Cuba. Cuba is a total perfume desert apparently.
Of course, a perfume hating person from my former office sniffed the same Heeley Iris, made a face, and asked why I was wearing a man’s cologne. LOL I just gave her my WTH look, laughed, and said “OK, then, that’s interesting!” It would have been a waste of breath to tell her perfume has no gender.
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At least now you don’t have to worry about the perfume grinch!
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What I do not miss is that daily balancing between the desire to wear some of my perfumes and fear to suffocate my co-workers (even though most of them had never expressed any disapproval).
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I don’t think I’ve been asked that much. Rarely in the office. I sprtiz less on office days (open plan- ugh). I have been asked in shops or cafes.
But I really don’t mind telling anyone – if they’re interested, I tell the notes & accords in it. If I’m asked about Chergui (very likely), the notes have had folks looking most astonished.
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I always think of you when I wear Chergui
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Yep, what she said.
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Thank you, both. That makes me happy <3
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I wore Chergui today. Nobody asked!!! :)
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You were wearing my favourite fragrance, Undina. People ought to ask!
Although some of us have been trained by Brigitte and spray 8-12 spritzes of juice. 😆
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I’m working on it! But I’m afraid Rusty would object.
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I don’t mine telling people what I am wearing if I am asked specifically what I am wearing. And may share where I bought it and the general price point if it’s someone I know well enough to know that they may be considering buying new perfume. I usually don’t provide details when someone just compliments with “you smell good”. And having worked with Undina for several years, I was often one of the folks asking her what she’s wearing. I have been the beneficiary of her extensive knowledge and willingness to share with those she knows love perfume like she does. Was also the recipient of samples too – either ones she deemed didn’t work at all for her or were duplicates of something she already had in her collection as a full bottle, decant, or sample!
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I should collect some of the samples for you. I hope, sooner or later the life will return to … a more normal, and we’ll do a lunch or a dinner together.
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In principle I love to share like you, but I also understand the wish for those close to me not to wear the exact same perfume, especially if it is obscure. I felt a bit proprietorial of PG Brulure de Rose, for example, and felt a bit conflicted after leading a friend to it, whereupon it promptly became her signature scent.
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I didn’t think about that possibility, but I think that I wouldn’t want anyone from my surroundings to “adopt” one of my favorites as a signature scent: I myself don’t wear any perfumes too often, so I’m not sure I want to smell it on someone else more often than that :)
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I do get asked quite often and don’t feel it such confidential information that I cannot share. Sometimes it starts conversation about topics outside the fragrance framework. Other times I the inquisitor asking me to write down my SOTD because what their significant other is wearing is just plain awful and what I’m wearing they find a suitable replacement.
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How interesting! Either you’re surrounded by astonishing number of perfume lovers, or you have great ability to choose “crowd pleasers.” :)
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I do find myself around people with a certain amount of appreciation but not always. I think this appreciation has more to do with all the bad fragrances experience they have had previously. In their mind, what I’m wearing has elevating their experience. Growth is a good thing.
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I share this kind of info with pleasure, especially if it’s a cheapie or a fragrance nobody would expect me to wear (for example, Elizabeth Taylor White Diamonds). I do understand your desire to keep the OJ to yourself, though.
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I want it to be popular! But preferably not among my friends ;)
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